Breaking Free: A Family’s Journey to Safety and Healing

Recognizing the Harm

The family was initially referred due to the father’s physical and verbal abuse of his eldest son and concerns about his treatment of his partner. Two years ago, at the time of a court matter for assault and intimidation, I met with the father, who had received a two-year AVO to protect the family. However, he took no responsibility for his actions, blaming his partner and son, and dismissing any need for personal change. Despite an invitation to continue discussions, he never returned.

Months later, his partner reached out, seeking support to repair the relationship between her son and his father. Through our work together, it became clear that the core issue was coercive control—a pattern of manipulation that kept her financially dependent, closely monitored, and emotionally trapped.

A Mother’s Awakening

Over time, she began to recognize the tactics of harm. Friends, family, and even her elderly parents had long urged her to leave, worried for her and the children’s safety. Her eldest son, deeply impacted, had become withdrawn, avoiding his father by staying in his room. He developed depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts, which ultimately led to him dropping out of Year 12 and putting his university dreams in jeopardy.

Despite previous engagement with mental health services, his treatment focused solely on depression, overlooking the harmful environment he was enduring. I worked with him directly through online sessions, helping him process his experiences and regain hope.

The Journey to Freedom

This weekend, after months of careful safety planning, the family successfully relocated to a private rental, leaving behind only a note for the father. The decision to leave was not made lightly. Separation is one of the most dangerous times for a woman experiencing domestic violence, and together, we ensured every step was taken as safely as possible.

Throughout the process, mum grappled with feelings of guilt and obligation—wanting to be ‘honest’ with him about her plans. We explored how his past manipulation had conditioned her to report her every move, believing this was what a ‘good partner’ does. Meanwhile, his controlling behaviour’s escalated, from monitoring her fuel usage to resuming heavy drinking after his AVO expired.

A New Beginning

Now, with the family in a new home, a new chapter begins:

• The eldest son has two part-time jobs and has been accepted into university, starting an intensive learning program.
• He is learning to drive, eating well, going to the gym, and has lost 10 kilos—a visible transformation reflecting his emotional growth.
• He is laughing and smiling again, showing newfound confidence.

His mother made the ultimate choice to protect her children—not just physically, but emotionally. She saw the risk of her son ‘going backwards’ and chose to move forward with him.

Leaving a controlling and abusive relationship takes immense bravery. This mother has not only reclaimed her own life but has given her children the gift of freedom—the freedom to live, grow, and thrive in a home filled with safety and love.

We look forward to witnessing their journey and celebrating their strength. 💙